6/12/16

Gay is the color of red today-
Blood red.
The fifty dead, fifty-three injured
Down in Orlando.
Blood red and gay is the color
Today.
My fiancee checks her pulse
At the table,
During breakfast,
After grace.
She can't eat. "I feel sick,"
She says, and I hold her hand.
Gay is the color of red today-
Blood red.
They can't even donate red
Down in Orlando, 'cause they're gay.
"It's OK," I tell my fiancee.
"Hate won't come our way,"
As if I knew.
Hate is here today is what I know.
"I've never felt this scared
Of being gay," she paces
Heart knotted like laces from the news.
Blood red,
Fifty dead,
Fifty-three injured down in Orlando. 
"No gay pride parade," she said.
"Nothing is happening to my baby."
She kisses my forehead, her forehead a frown.
"It's ok," I say. "Hate won't come our way."
As if I knew.
Hate is here today is what I know. 

Letting Go

thoughts, like worms 

crawl within the mind

marching inwards

toward the cellar of my soul,

and once inside the darkness

they forget the door.

let them surface from the dirt, 

give them your breath for air,

let the thoughts find the light,

breathe them out, 

and let them free.

for you are but a grain of sand

in the bottom of the ocean,

one sound wave 

among the symphony.

breathe in silence, 

let the moon pave the night, 

breathe out,

and set yourself free. 

in the morning 
thoughts as new as the next page
mother's day sunday 
and mine is oceans away

but I

have a fiancé

cooking breakfast 

bacon 

french toast

kiwi

cantaloupe

grapes in a fruit bowl

shores that once were mine
are no longer

but I

am here

planting my home 
in a heart 

Thoughts

I tell my secrets to the window. 
The glass absorbs my thoughts, like a dream catcher, 
shells me from the outside... (inside,depending on the day). 
And reality stays hidden under the guise 
of an illusion
for a minute longer, like a reflection on the water, or a painting on the wall - alive and distant. 
In that world, people walk lonelier, 
move mouths without sound, 
follow the day without time, 
rhythm without music. 
From behind the window I observe the pattern of living, 
colossal before the window lens:
a microscope, 
a world inside the tv screen.
Life out there... (or inside) 
keeps turning as it does, in its whirling way, 
day 
after 
day, 
with coffee cups and newspapers, 
laughter, fears, and doubts.
And I sit and stare, 
-almost noon inside my head-
savoring the seconds until I, too, become

a number. 

Greyhound

Yellow and red splash the bald trees
of the American road. 

Wheat fields glow golden,
warming in spring sun.

The sky sails across oceans
of infinite depths, naked as freedom.

Clouds melt among Sun's swords
like lovers' legs between sheets.

The city,
I lost to the miles behind

I move on
among fraternities
of gliding machines,
carried by wheels
of bottomless time,
rolling through an expanse
of orphan territory,
belonging to no one,
and everything at once,
ascending into the garden
of futures unclaimed. 

Mother Mountain traces the horizon
with her bosom.
The falcon floats the wind,

stretching its wings,

like saluting flags.

The river shivers sunbeam, 

like diamonds dancing the night, 

resting upwards eternally

to heavens eclipsing her sight. 

The multitude,

I lost to the hours behind.

I move on, 

a traveler,

as singular
as the American road, 

plummeting like rain

into a world alive. 

-LBCH

Mother's Birthday

I imagine my mother 
The day of her birthday
Gowned in her wine stained pajamas,
Regal still
In her sadness.

Exiting her room
Like a moon in daylight - pale, distant-
Walking barefoot and unbalanced, 
Her fifty five years facing her like a mirror,
Silent, probing, and judgemental.

Mother, her smile would be splintered 
And hungry
For another cigarette,
And her nerves would have started to crumb 
Like mountains battered with age.
   
    We can always tell 
When it's time
To hush
And whisper.

I can imagine her
Sitting on the sofa, legs folded,
Her slippery eyes reflecting the TV screen, 
A movie watched twelve times 
Or more.

A damsel still 
In her solitude, a life lacking love,
But her mind is a harbor
For castaway memories and pasts 
She will never recover.

Life has overcome her
One seems to think,
With her sobs stuck like a chicken bone
In the back of her throat.

With jaded hearts we stare at her
Like defeated cheerleaders,
And we take out our white flags,
Lift them midair, 

But again she rises
Resilient as the sun,
Fixes her long hair 
And blows out the candle.

Soulmate

The meeting of two souls
Holds more power 
Than a bolt of lightning 
When it rips through the fabric 
Of a midnight sky

Strong enough to bend 
The mightiest of will powers
Like the birch of a tree folds,
Fooled by the guise 
Of soft snow.