Flicker In the Distance

The tears gather in your eyes

Like a baby in a cradle

As you smoke, sucking slowly –

Puffs collecting into clouds

Of impenetrable gray

In the rim of your mouth –

The edge of your lips

Solemnity

You are like that star

Of shining silver

Flickering on and off

In the distance  

The unattainable glimmer

That one ponders about in

The gut of night  

A mystery made more beautiful

By its secrecy

You sit by the window

Staring at the wall

As if you meant to break it

You are stoic like the statues

Of saints

With that intrinsic nurture,

Indomitable Beauty and perfection

Of pain

That only art can contain

And I sit facing you

Like a peon at the altar –

Small, like a child

In a museum

Distance

The last touch,

The final tangible moments

When the hidden silences,   

The diffidence of love

Becomes feral

In a hug

I smell your hair of soothing lavender

I feel the fabric of your dress

I kiss the dampness of your cheeks

I walk away

At 21 I smoke

The way you taught me

Without knowing

Imitating poses,

Moving to your rhythms,

Staring at the wall

Night crawls like a spider,

The ghosts of memory

Hide beneath the curtains

Of shadows

And I nestle in their pallor,

Tangled in the comfort

Of desolation

I search for residual warmth

Where your head lay like a stone

Upon the pillow, 

A paper clip that you dropped

On the rug

I know that it is not

The wall at all

But the light –

The relentless flicker

In the distance